Lighting streaks
The sky of your hair
Crushed autumn leaves
The ocean sighing in your ear
"Sweet nothing, nothing."
She kisses you on the cheek
Tosses up a coin
Too bad it's tails
Crushed autumn leaves
The ocean sighing in your ear
"Sweet nothing, nothing."
She kisses you on the cheek
Tosses up a coin
Too bad it's tails
This is really beautiful. I don't know your inspiration, but it seems to me like this piece is talking about someone who has feelings for someone else, but the someone else has no idea. Maybe it's just me applying it to the context of certain experiences though...lol.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I usually don't like using "you" in poetry (teacher influence) but it really works here because I know you're not talkig to me, you're talking to the "someone else".
By the way, great comment on Casa De Shaun. XD. Very true.
talking*
ReplyDelete...I HATE stupid spelling mistakes like that...
-laughs- Thank you for the critique on my poetry. Sometimes the 'you' just needs to be in there, you know?
ReplyDelete